How to improve your Emotional Intelligence 

Five pillars determine the level of emotional intelligence (measured by EQ) of an individual. These include three intrapersonal pillars (self-awareness, management of emotions and motivation) and two interpersonal pillars (empathy and social skills). It is not surprising that EQ has intrapersonal as well as interpersonal dimensions. After all, emotional intelligence can be seen in the ability we have to navigate our own emotions and the emotions of those around us.  So if you are searching for how to improve your emotional intelligence read how empathy plays a big role in that.

In this article, let us examine the crucial role played by empathy (an interpersonal phenomenon) to improve emotional intelligence (an intrapersonal phenomenon), and how to improve your emotional intelligence using Empathy:

1.    Empathy suspends judgment

You cannot empathize that which you judge. In order to empathize, you have to keep your pre-conceived notions (biases, prejudices and judgements) at bay. This creates an openness within you to receive information. This information includes emotions. And as you judge less, you will find yourself connecting more with the person in front of you.

Impact on EQ: Every pre-conceived notion distorts reality, just like a filter applied to a camera lens. Practicing the art of being non-judgmental helps us see the world as it is. This gradually helps us develop a greater acceptance of this world the way it is, not the way we want it to be. And the person who refuses to run away from reality is a person with a high EQ.

2.    Empathy improves listening

Having suspended judgment and having resolved to connect with the other person, you now give your full attention to them. And listen. Not just to their words, but to the emotions and silences behind the words. You pay attention to the body language.

When your boss says, “I think I’ll have a double scoop of ice-cream,” you will know whether the declaration conveys joy, sadness or resignation.

Impact on EQ: Listening is integral to growth-oriented skills like problem solving, decision making, negotiating, conflict management etc. As you become a better listener, you will find your life becoming less obfuscating and more rewarding. And as you know, growth in any area of life boosts self-esteem and EQ.

3.    Empathy could deliver personal breakthroughs

Dr Brené Brown, perhaps the foremost authority on empathy in the world, tells us that in order to know what the other person is feeling, you must connect with that part of ourselves that knows the feeling. Which means you will allow yourselves to be vulnerable and get in touch with your emotional core.

Impact on EQ: Being in constant touch with your own emotions will make you self-aware and also less fearful of your own emotions. Sometimes, the other person might be narrating an incident that might be eerily similar to something that happened in your own life. This gives you an opportunity to explore that incident in a new context.  How to improve Emotional Intelligence ~ this is one of those critical points to consider.

Also, even if you felt uncomfortable exploring your own memory, you might feel safer exploring the emotional depth of the incident narrated by the other person. This could lead to breakthroughs, or at the very least, increased resilience. Ergo, a higher EQ.

4.    Empathy improves productivity

Picture this. You reach your workplace and find your subordinate in an unusually glum state. You could ignore him, or you could help him. By talking to you, he might feel lighter and more prepared to focus on the rigours of the workday.

Impact on EQ: Empathy is a great tool for improving productivity in the short-term and leadership in the long-term. Success follows, and as always, EQ rises.

5.    Empathy improves relationships

Doing all of the above on a regular basis will vastly improve your personal and professional relationships.

Impact on EQ: You might feel more validated as a human being. You might congratulate yourself on your ability to create and nurture so many deep relationships with such different kinds of people. As a bonus, whenever you experience an emotional crisis, these relationships will offer sufficient support for you to quickly bounce back. Again, the result is a higher EQ.

A final word

The next time an opportunity to empathize presents itself, instead of saying, “Let me help someone,” we could state ourselves more accurately and say, “Let me enrich my own life by helping someone.”

If you want to learn about Emotional Intelligence, and are looking for Emotional Intelligence training program in India, then please go through the program page of Emotional Intelligence, and find out the benefit of being Emotionally Intelligent, and how learning about Emotional Intelligence will enable you to regulate your Emotions and also if you are a coach or looking to add know about Emotional Intelligence into your coaching practice then the course will be helpful as well.