How to take control of your emotions

This article will explore how you can use the robust framework of Emotional Intelligence (EI) to control your emotions effectively. If you have been perplexed by this question, how to take control of your emotions, or want to learn how to manage emotions then read further.

 What are emotions?

According to Neuroscience, emotions are those impulses in the brain that are expressed through physiological functions (such as faster heartbeat, etc.) and resulting in behaviors (such as crying, aggression, laughter, etc).

Emotions happen for a reason. They help you in understanding and interacting with your environment. They are involved in everything you do. Hence, it is important to learn how to take control of your emotions, so that you can take charge of your life.

 

What is emotional self-control?

Emotional self-control, also known as emotional regulation is your ability to control strong emotions by not acting on them resulting in impulsive or unresourceful behavior. It is your ability to effectively manage and respond to an emotional experience. How to manage emotions is very popular among leaders looking to increase their Emotional Intelligence.

When you are able to sit with unpleasant thoughts and feelings, when you give yourself the time and space to consider various solutions to a particular issue or challenge, and when you do not choose to respond from emotionally charged states, then you become someone who has emotional self-control.

Consciously or unconsciously, people use a variety of emotion regulation strategies to manage emotions many times throughout each day.

Emotionally healthy people love themselves, adapt well to challenging situations, and do not stay stuck in emotionally charged situations. They have the knack to deal with situations, they know and understand the importance of how to take control of emotions.

Why is it important to regulate your emotions?

 Your emotions dictate your state of mind, leading to actions. Therefore, emotional regulation is the key to delivering high performance and maintaining outstanding relationships in business as well as in personal life.

General intelligence is important for problem-solving; however, control over emotions is most crucial to perceiving things in a way so as to give constructive meanings, understanding other people’s perspectives, making better decisions, and adapting to social changes.

When you are not overly emotional (you know how to self-regulate emotions), there is a room in your brain for rational thinking, you feel a sense of control in challenging situations.

Your ability to regulate emotions is an important factor in how you are perceived by the people around you.  Hence, how to take control of your emotions is a very essential topic in current times.  Especially, when Emotional Intelligence at the workplace is given so much importance, due to irresponsible behaviors of many leaders at their respective workplace in recent times, which became a bad press for these corporates to handle.

People who have a better grip over their emotions score high in self-motivation, and they do not doubt themselves often.  Strong emotional control is essential for personal fulfillment and professional success.

To handle life’s ups and downs, it is extremely important to understand your emotions, control your reactions, and recognize how your emotions affect your actions.

Fortunately, anyone can choose to become better at regulating emotions easily.

How can you manage emotions intelligently?

As you pay close attention to what’s really going on inside of you to become more aware of your emotions, and as you practice recognizing and identifying the feelings you’re experiencing, you move one step closer to learning how to handle your emotions more effectively.

Learning to listen to your emotions, to identify and understand them, and to use them to your advantage is something that requires dedicated effort and persistent practice. It is only with continuous effort and discipline that you can start to build the essential skills of effective emotions management.

Here are some useful tips about how to take control of your emotions easily:

• Become self-aware about your thinking patterns, and don’t react right away.

Practice slowing down your responses and reactions around situations that are full of triggers that generally active an emotional response. Take a deep breath and allow your heart rate to return to normal.

As you become calmer, affirm to yourself that this is only temporary, and you are more than your emotions.

• Identify and put a label on what you are feeling to allow activity in your Prefrontal Cortex (PFC) of your brain to kick in. PFC is the thinking part of your brain, and more control you have over this region, the better chances you have to provide better meanings to things around you. If you are looking for how to take control of your emotions, here is the mantra, ‘Better meanings enable a person to take control of their emotions, and responses.’

• Zoom in on the emotion (rather than avoiding it), and figure out what it is suggesting.

Ask strategic questions that can change your focus to who you can be or what all you can do, that is in your control.  Sometimes, you might need to change the way you are thinking about the whole situation because the thinking processes act as meaning providers that dictate how you perceive the world.

• See the bigger picture from other viewpoints.

As if someone else is experiencing the same situation, which is causing the emotional discomfort, what will you tell them to do, to handle the situation?  The moment you look at the situation from a distance as if someone else is experiencing it, you get back in control, and you will be able to regulate your emotions.

• Engage in the activities that you enjoy doing to start feeling better. If you got activated by a trigger, and are feeling something, due to the meaning that you gave to it. Immediately, break your state of mind (distract yourself), and engage in an activity that will allow you to self-regulate your emotions. Come back to the situation once you are peaceful, and can do something about the situation.

• Monitor your emotions and review what triggered emotional discomfort in you, what are your emotions suggesting, and what will change in your life if you acknowledge them. Once you write this down, you can bring this to your self-awareness, and you can feel a sense of control in real-time situations, as you practice this more and more.

 

Who can help you in becoming emotionally healthier?

Emotional Intelligence is your ability to tune in to your feelings and those of others, and to effectively manage emotions in yourself and in your relationships.

Research has shown that you can use Emotional Intelligence to build up your emotional regulation strategy and thus positively shape your relationships and your desired end results.

However, developing EI competencies on your own without any external support can prove to be a challenge for a lot of people. Many people find it difficult to identify the right action steps that will facilitate lasting changes. If you are wondering how to take control of your emotions, then the guidance of a professionally trained coach makes a fundamental difference in mastering the Emotional Intelligence competencies.

The support and guidance of a qualified emotional intelligence coach provides the required perspective, accountability, as well as a structured approach for learning, self-discovery, and transformation.

Usually, Life Coaches, Relationship Coaches, Positive Psychology Coaches, and other skilled coaches who help people in improving emotional health are trained in Emotional Intelligence tools and techniques.

In the past, people who have had the intention of coaching themselves and learn how to take control of your emotions as well as use that knowledge in working with others as an EI Coach have joined our Emotional Intelligence Coach Practitioner Program.

Once you gain control over your emotions, you will no longer feel weighed down. Instead, you will experience more power and control in your life, and you will be much healthier and happier.

  

How do emotionally intelligent coaches help people in controlling emotions effectively?

Successful emotionally intelligent coaches have the ability to understand their own, as well as other people’s emotions, and to manage them in an appropriate way.

Coaches who are trained in the framework of emotional intelligence understand the brain’s circuitry, tools, and techniques when it comes to emotional regulation. Therefore, competent EI coaches are easily able to help people notice the habitual patterns of their mindset, beliefs, emotional triggers, and behaviors that may be limiting.

Once self-awareness and focus have been established using evidence-based questioning, the credentialed coaches then focus on supporting people in implementing useful practices and strategies that bring about long-term emotional balance.

How to take control of your emotions – Below mentioned are some of the coaching questions that EI coaches ask to help people control their emotions in a context which is overwhelming or a point of bother:   

• What are you feeling?
• What are you thinking?
• What do you want in this situation?
• What do you need to do differently now?
• What can you learn from this experience?
• Is what you are thinking about this experience really true? What are the evidences that you have? What else can also be true here?
• What is the best thing for you to do right now?

 

Summary

A lot of people try to manage their emotions on their own, but without a proper understanding of emotions, feelings, self-awareness, and self-management, they are clueless about it, and the result is that they feel helpless leading into an unresourceful state of mind, no control over their behaviors, and sometimes in worst situations leading to mental illness.

Unfortunately, even when you shut your eyes to the emotion, the emotion won’t go away. Spend time learning how to become Emotionally Intelligence, and learn how to take control of your emotions.

You don’t need to pretend you’re not feeling the way you are, but you do need to deal with the emotions so that they do not affect your interactions with others.

Unaddressed un-resourceful emotions function like a wound that only worsens over time.

It’s important to acknowledge your emotions and remind yourself in some way that you are much more than your emotions.

When you understand a little more about how your emotions work, you are in a much better position to use this information to your advantage.

Just like developing any skill or a habit, learning to manage emotions effectively is an ongoing journey where you constantly strive to do and be better than before, and attending classroom courses will help.

Connect with us on info@nlpcoach.in to enquire further details about our extremely popular Emotional Intelligence Coach Practitioner Program, which has been rated as one of the best Emotional Intelligence training in India.

About Emotional Intelligence Coach Practitioner Program at NLP Coaching Academy:

This workshop is specifically designed for participants to not just learn how to take control of your emotions, but also to practice the powerful tools and techniques that have helped people immensely in building skills of self-awareness, self-control, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.  You can also read about what is Emotional Intelligence Coaching to get an idea about EI based Coaching. All this in turn gives them better insight and control over their actions and emotions.

With the enhanced understanding of emotions, the participants will experience a positive impact on their professional as well as personal lives.  The Emotional Intelligence course is delivered by the best Behavioural Trainer of Asia Vikram Dhar.

Everyone benefits from having muscle strength in Emotional Intelligence.