How to use NLP Clean Questioning

NLP’s Clean Language technique of questioning offers a great way to model the excellence exhibited by speakers worthy of emulation and to learn the art of how to become a Public Speaker. Many people have found that a search how to use NLP clean questioning led to many discovering while modeling excellence. 

In the article How to become an eagle on the podium, we have already acknowledged that public speaking is Everest amongst human fears – it is more widespread than even the fear of death. The article then went on to elaborate on the high-level measures an individual can take in order to overcome this fear.

In this article, we will take a deeper dive and look at how we can use NLP’s Clean Questioning approach to “model” the excellence exhibited by powerful speakers.

Application ~ How to use NLP Clean Questioning

Understanding modelling

First, let’s understand how we use the word modelling in the world of NLP. According to famed NLP researchers David Gordon and Graham Dawes, who have spent decades studying this topic, “Modelling is a doorway into the vast storehouse of human experience and abilities, providing access to anyone willing to turn the key.”

This is such an evocative definition in itself. Now, if we take it one step forward and specifically talk about modelling excellence, then we are saying that anybody exhibiting excellence can be observed, interrogated for inputs and mimicked by others seeking to create the same results. The person exhibiting excellence is called the exemplar and the person studying and modelling the exemplar is called the modeller.

It is the modeller’s responsibility to:

• Seek and identify worthy exemplars
• De-construct or reverse engineer the mindset of the exemplar – by creating a step-by-step process followed consciously and subconsciously by the latter
• Make the model relevant and accessible to others – so that the exemplar’s experiences gain a wide relevance

The process of modelling

While no model can encompass all of reality, a good model will create a reasonable facsimile of reality. In order to do so, a modeller must, during the process of questioning the exemplar, do the following:

• Listen carefully
• Shun judgment of what is being said
• Frame questions that are free from biases and assumptions
• Embody the curiosity of the explorer (which will automatically happen when you do all of the above)

Essentially, the modeller is identifying patterns of:

• External behaviour
• Internal States (read Achieving a state of excellence for a better understanding of State) &
• Internal processes

Modelling the powerful speaker, to decode how to become a powerful speaker

Here, we will take an example of a conversation between a modeller and an exemplar. We will use the Clean Language methodology, created by a counselling psychologist from New Zealand named David J Grove. Since the methodology originated from the mind of a psychologist, who is trained not to intrude into the conversation with his own emotions and interpretations, you will find that the questions are “clean.” Often, the language used by the exemplar is repeated by the modeller in order to avoid adding any additional “meaning” to what is being said.  NLP modelling is a key skill of the best NLP trainers in the world, and they have developed this skill by constant learning, and practice.

Example of how to do it

 Modeller: Are there preconditions to you speaking powerfully? Like a particular place or a particular audience that you are comfortable with?

This is the context setting question. It sets the tone for the conversation. The exemplar, in this case, responds thus:

 Exemplar: I am a professional speaker. So I must and will speak powerfully anywhere and to any audience. But my true power comes across when I feel knowledgeable about the topic being discussed. That’s why, before I give a talk or conduct a workshop, I research a lot.

Modeller: How does researching a lot help?

Exemplar: Well, I want to offer value to my participants. That can happen only if I can tell them something, many things in fact, which make them sit up and take notice.

Modeller: Sit up and take notice… can you explain that?

 Exemplar: Well, I put myself in the place of the audience. If I were to attend this session, what questions would I like answered by the end of it? I first make a list of those questions. I then find many supplementary questions cropping up. I try and find satisfactory and substantial answers to each of those questions. Then I look at the presentation. Can I use a case study or an anecdote to make the discussion livelier? I work on those aspects. And now, if I put myself in the audience of my session, I will feel happy and empowered. I will sit up and take notice.

Modeller: Having prepared in this manner, how do you feel?

Here, the modeller is eliciting insights on the exemplar’s State.

Exemplar: I feel confident. I feel that I deserve to conduct that session. And when I look at my audience, I feel as if it is filled with people eager to listen to me, eager to learn. I feel on top of my game.

Modeller: On top of my game… what exactly does that mean to you?

Exemplar: It means everything will go as per my plan. Even if there are disruptions and argumentative moments during the session, I don’t lose my cool.

Modeller: Disruptive and argumentative moments… how would that go?

Exemplar: Well, someone in the audience might want to challenge me. I choose not to see that as a personal attack. Instead, I think that I have piqued the person’s curiosity and intellect. Now I have to stoke his understanding. This confidence is possible primarily because, thanks to my preparation, I have a reservoir of ideas that will help me have a meaningful discussion with him. And that discussion will benefit not only this person but also others in the audience. So I appreciate this person for having deepened the discussion.

Modeller: How do you appreciate this person?

Exemplar: Mostly using explicit statements. Sometimes, with my body language. My arms are not folded across my chest, my tone doesn’t get sterner, my eyes don’t narrow into slits. Instead, I am smiling. My eyes encourage him to continue engaging. My inner confidence doesn’t waver.

Modeller: Explain that inner confidence. Where do you feel it?

Exemplar: I feel it in my body. My shoulders, my chest, my knees. All erect and poised. I feel it in my mind. As the session unravels in a productive manner, I feel myself entering into a zone of clarity and mindfulness. Nothing exists except for that classroom. Street noises fade away. My stream of consciousness serves me well, dishing out one thought after another.

Modeller: Are there things you do to enter into this zone?

Exemplar: Recently, I addressed an audience of PhD holders. I myself don’t have a PhD. But remembering how I succeeded in the past in connecting with audiences very unlike me helped. I once gave a talk to rural women earning their livelihood through an NGO. We came from different worlds, but we found ways to connect. The same happened when I spoke to non-commissioned officers of the Air Force. I know that I can make the connection. I have enough knowledge and compassion within me to make that connection.

Experienced modellers would have noticed the use of metaphors in the exemplar’s language. For instance, the use of the word reservoir, which could be explored further through Clean Language’s way of framing questions – metaphors usually hold clues to deeper subconscious thoughts.

In conclusion

No doubt each acquirer (the person emulating the model) is unique and will customize the insights, but the beauty of the modelling process is that it encourages us to think about shared human experiences. We are all unique as snowflakes, but we also aggregate like snowflakes and have a lot to learn from each other.  For further reading read: Simple NLP techniques for better public speaking

How to use NLP Clean questioning will go a long way for you to develop a skill.  Seen in that light, NLP’s process of modelling not only celebrates excellence, but also clones it, and in the long run, amplifies the quantum of excellence in society. After all, we cannot have enough of excellence, can we?  Getting into a great state of mind which is covered in our NLP Practitioner course is a must if you want to become better at public speaking.