Simple tips to develop your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence has become a very critical skill for success these days.  Especially if you are working in a large organization, it is imperative that you spend time to develop your Emotional Intelligence skills.  How to improve Emotional Intelligence, how to develop Emotional Intelligence are the buzz questions in the leadership development forums, and leadership development teams/HR teams are looking for strategies to improve Emotional Intelligence for their employees in the organization to improve performance. This post is about simple tips to develop your Emotional Intelligence.

Consider this scenario: Your employee is juggling between the office and the new born baby. Instead of giving up, he comes and asks for help. And you, as a boss, instead of yelling you support him in all possible ways.

Then there is another scenario: Your friend just got bad news about her sister and has to cancel your long-awaited plan for a trip to Singapore. You understand the situation, and instead of being mad at her, think of some other plan.

If you are a 3rd party, these responses may not seem to be a big deal. But they are a part of a very important skill set known as: “emotional intelligence” (EI). You cannot measure these by any random quantitative test, but still, it is crucial to respond to situations, work through challenges and make positive connections with others.

In fact, high EQ is also linked to one’s ability to lead a happy and fulfilled life. This quote can well explain its importance:

“If you can rightly build your emotional intelligence and holistically develop yourself, people can hurt you, but you won’t be hurt.”

― Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha

Components of Emotional Intelligence

So, how to develop your emotional intelligence? Before that, lets know about its components that are as follows:

The concept of EI has been here for decades, but it was popularized in the modern world by Daniel Goleman.

Different EI experts came up with different models for EI, and here are 5 fundamental components that one must be aware of before diving into strategies to improve Emotional Intelligence.  Emotional Intelligence training in India, has gained a lot of momentum in recent time, and that is because how to develop Emotional Intelligence is the core of the program.

• Self-awareness: It is an awareness in a person to be aware of their feelings at a particular time. He also understands how his mood fluctuation affects others.

• Self-regulation: The person can control his response towards the emotions. He also focuses on all possible consequences before acting on a mere impulse.

• Motivation: It is his skill to attain goals even if he is getting distracted by negative emotions.

• Social skills: The person finds it easy to manage even the most complex relations. He is also aware of the kind of behaviour he must use to get positive influence from others.

Now it’s time to discuss specific strategies to improve your Emotional Intelligence skills. Let us know more about them.

Simple tips to develop your Emotional Intelligence:  

Stop and think about feelings to improve EI

The very first step of Emotional Intelligence begins with self and social awareness. Or, in simple words, the ability to recognise emotions and their impact on yourself and others.

And this awareness starts with self-reflection. If you are looking for simple tips to develop your Emotional Intelligence then this is the most important point.  Here are few questions to develop your awareness in this area.

Hence, when you are thinking of a question how to improve Emotional Intelligence always ask yourself questions such as:

·        What is my emotional strength/weakness?

·        What emotions am I feeling right now?

·        When I am stressed, what emotions do I typically feel?

·        Can I pause a bit and reconsider my response?

Reflective questions like the above will also help you develop interpersonal skills, and are a starting point to how to develop Emotional Intelligence.

 

Emotional Intelligence tip ~ Show empathy towards others

Empathy is essential and should not just be practised by leaders but by all members of a team.

After all it is all about understanding and responding to the feelings of others and assessing how it feels to be in someone else’s shoes.

To develop empathy, ask yourself questions such as

• Do I treat people the way they wish to be treated and not how I wish to be treated?
• Do I question my gut reaction to the ideas of others people?
• Do I find difficulty in working with people who do not share common thoughts and beliefs as me?

 

Well, regarding the 3^rd question, being empathetic does not mean that you have to agree with the other person every single time. Instead, it is about attempting to understand their viewpoint. And once that is done then you will build a better relationship with everyone.

 

Be a good listener to develop Emotional Intelligence 

This is one of the basic rules when you are on the path of EQ. But alas! It is often neglected.

Now again, you do not have to agree with whatever the other person says but at least they should have a feeling that YOU HEAR THEM!! Simple tips to develop your Emotional Intelligence ~ Don’t be a good listener, be a great listener.  Make people feel special, while you are having a conversation with them.  Make them feel heard, and you will make them feel special.

Become a good listener by asking yourself questions such as:

• Am I genuinely following the conversation?
• Do I interrupt people frequently?
• Do I listen to talk next or to understand?

This tip gets all the more essential when you have to deal with foreign clients. The presence of language or cultural barriers may result in miscommunication.

Accept criticism as a learning opportunity to improve Emotional Intelligence

Being an emotionally intelligent person also requires you to deal with criticism and take the feedback in a positive manner.

This applies to the feedbacks that have been delivered to you in a harsh manner. But no matter how brutal it is, there may be some truth to it.

Reflect by asking questions such as:

• Why am I so upset about this incident?
• Was my reaction valid?
• What can I do without blaming someone?

As your journey towards attaining Emotional intelligence moves forward, you can quickly motivate yourself to respond to challenges and criticism in a positive manner. The path may not be smooth enough, but your motivation level towards it will be high.

 

Relationship management

The presence of higher emotional intelligence leads to happy and fulfilled social relations. You become a better communicator, deal with conflicts and develop trustworthy relations with your colleagues.

In this respect, you should introspect yourself from time to time by asking these questions:

• Have I neglected the need of my family member or colleague?
• Was my way of communicating too direct that it might have hurt someone?
• Do I often praise people for the good work done by them?

This introspection will not only help you build trust but will also inspire others to follow in your footsteps. Ultimately you can have stress free relationships and better-coping strategies to move forward.

Summary:

Improving EI is not a process that happens overnight, instead it takes a lifetime to attain a perfect balance on your emotions. If you are looking for strategies, and simple tips to develop your Emotional Intelligence, then you just have to start, and work towards improving.

Hence strive to make small progress every day by practising the above-mentioned steps. And when you have attained even something small, then don’t forget to pat yourself on the back. Because you are on a path to harness the power of emotional contagion that will work for you than against you.