What is the best NLP technique?

When I nervously entered my first NLP workshop as a young professional 5 years ago, little did I know that it would be the start of a Powerful Personal and Business Transformation. I was instantly hooked. I was given tools that not only helped manage my state of mind but opened up whole new possibilities in life for me. I probed myself, to find out ‘ What is the best NLP technique or skill ?’

I started to gain incredible confidence as I resolved challenges smoothly and quickly. My dreams and vision for my life suddenly expanded exponentially, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would achieve my highest potential.

The single most important NLP skill that has shifted my life into high gear is Deep Listening. At both, a personal and professional level, the art of listening actively has greatly improved and deepened my relationships for greater success.  This is by far the most important skill to have if you were curious to know, ‘ What is the best NLP Technique or skill ?’

Deep Listening is a key skill to be mastered especially for a trainer (an NLP trainer or in other areas of focus) or a Coach (Executive Coach, Behavioural Coach, Life Coach, Business Coach etc.). Someone rightly said to me once:

“The world will be a better place if all of us learned how to pay more attention to others, and listen at a deeper level.”

So what does ‘deep listening’ mean exactly? Is there any other way to listen than what we’ve been doing so far?

When we’re having a conversation with others, our minds tend to drift. We may be thinking of tasks in hand or be preoccupied with the past or future. I remember once nodding very vigorously with another’s conversation, all the while thinking about lunch. Sometimes, we may just not be interested in what the other has to say. But, I’ve come to believe that if I’m choosing to spend time with another person, I should honour and respect both of us by being completely present. You never know when some casual comment could be the exact answer you’ve been looking for. When we talk about NLP techniques, what does it really mean.  Do read about NLP techniques in this post.

So, what is the best NLP technique? 

Listening – Pure listening

Let’s understand what listening means as an exploration of what is the best NLP technique.

1. Surface-level Listening

Surface-level listening is almost a pretence of engaging in the discussion. The person may be nodding or making appropriate noises, but s/he is not really present. This may be evident to the speaker, even if at an unconscious level. This definitely takes a toll on subconscious rapport building, especially when the speaker is an important part of one’s life. Then again, we’ve all been guilty of it at family gatherings when we meet that person we don’t get along with. We’ve also been at the receiving end of it — just ask parents how difficult it is to get their children to do chores around the house.

2. Conversational Listening

Conversational listening is what we end up doing most of the time. We listen and simultaneously think about our response. We talk, then listen again, think, and talk. The focus is on oneself and the response. At this level, we are conversing to talk, not to listen. This works for everyday communication, but is not powerful enough to establish a deeper rapport.

3. Active Listening

Active listening is when the listener is fully present to the conversation. S/he pays attention to the words being said and draws the speaker into deeper communion by asking the right questions. To do so, the active listener employs ‘Clean Language’. Clean language is ensuring that the semantics used by the speaker are not disturbed. For example, if the other person says, “I want a better life,” the active listener encourages communication by asking, “Better in what way?” Without being trained in clean language, saying, “Oh, you want a good life. What is ‘good’?” can disturb the other person’s flow. In addition, an active listener expertly facilitates the conversation through the art of repeating the speaker’s words and succinctly summarising the discussion. Active listening is a key skill for coaches to enhance their coaching sessions, keeping the focus on the coachee.

4. Deep Listening

Beyond active listening is the skill that weaves a magical trance around speaker and listener. In deep listening, you establish a subconscious rapport with the speaker, making it the best answer to ‘What is the best NLP Technique or skill to have?’ The listener goes beyond the words being used to identify the other person’s Representative System, Meta Programs and behaviour patterns. At this level, you are able to clearly see the speaker’s map of the world and respond appropriately using NLP interrupts. Your mind is calm, you operate without judgement and understand what the speaker is going through. With this deep communion, you transform into a magician, guiding the speaker from a non-resourceful state to a highly resourceful state.

Through the various NLP programmes — Certified NLP Practitioner, Certified NLP Master Practitioner, and Certified NLP Trainer — I was introduced to the phenomenal impact of this skill. As I learned to integrate the several NLP tools and practised them in personal and professional life, deep listening started to become second nature.  Constantly seek answer to, What is the best nlp technique and you will notice that you are always propelling towards learning more of NLP, NLP techniques, and how to use them in your daily life to get better results for yourself.

The applications of deep listening are vast. It is a powerful skill in coaching, counselling, deepening relationships, sales, leadership and many more. By utilising an outcome frame coupled with deep listening, watch your interpersonal interactions rocket you to exceptional results. If you are chasing this question, ‘ What is the best NLP Technique or skill to have ?’, follow this one to have lasting results in various areas of your life.